When You Feel Like You Don't Deserve
by Irish Charm
Summary: Lyrical Melodrama Contest Entry. Bella's life isn't easy. She feels she is undeserving of love so she leaves Edward. What will happen to the lovers, and who will be Where I Stood? Discussion on /forum/viewtopic.php?f 28&t 88
1. Chapter 1

Lyrical Melodrama Story Contest

Name Of Story: When You Feel Like You Don't Deserve

Pen Name: Irish Charm

Song Story is Inspired By: Where I Stood

Artist: Missy Higgins

Category: Newbie

Main Pairing: Edward & Bella

POV: All Knowing

I don't know what I've done  
Or if I like what I've begun  
But something told me to run  
And honey you know me it's all or none  
There were sounds in my head  
Little voices whispering  
That I should go and this should end  
Oh and I found my self listening

Cause I don't know who I am, who I am without you  
All I know is that I should  
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you  
All I know is that I should  
Cause she will love you more than I could  
She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white  
That it was wrong or it was right  
But you ain't leaving without a fight  
And I think I am just as torn inside

Cause I don't know who I am, who I am without you  
All I know is that I should  
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you  
All I know is that I should  
Cause she will love you more than I could  
She who dares to stand where I stood

And I wont be far from where you are if ever you should call  
You meant more to me then any one I've ever loved at all  
But you taught me how to trust myself  
And so I say to you, this is what I have to do.

Cause I don't know who I am, who I am without you  
All I know is that I should  
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you  
All I know is that I should  
Cause she will love you more than I could  
She who dares to stand where I stood  
She who dares to stand where I stood.

Chapter 1

Bella knew what she had to do, she had to break things off with Edward. Bella was sitting on a bench outside in the hospital courtyard waiting for Edward to come out for his dinner break. Edward had just finished medical school and had been awarded a perspicacious position at Seattle Grace Hospital to do his residency. Bella completed her PhD in English Literature at the same time. She had just accepted a job with Voltora Publishing Company in Seattle as a editor. It was hard work but she loved it.

Once they moved back to Washington Edward purchased a nice townhouse in the suburbs outside of Seattle. As Edward's hours got more and more difficult, Bella found all her old insecurities coming back. While they were in college they had the same crazy hours. While Edward would be at the hospital working crazy hours as a intern, Bella was in the library and at her mentor's office writing her dissertation. It wasn't until Bella was working and had normal business hours that she realized how little she had seen of Edward over that last few years. She always had work that she could take home but it wasn't the same as college.

There was something inside her that told her that she didn't deserve to be happy. But it all came crashing down with one simple phone call. She was waiting up for Edward to get home one night when the phone rang. Looking at the caller id she saw that it was the hospital, thinking that it was Edward she answered with a breathless "Hello." But the voice on the other end was not Edward. It was Dr Tanya Denali, Bella had heard a lot about her from Edward. But what came out of the woman's mouth would haunt her for the rest of her life.

Tanya called out of concern for Edward. She had explained to Bella that Edward was a gifted Doctor that had a brilliant promising career ahead of him. But Tanya explained that there was only one thing missing from Edward and that was his level of concentration. He wasn't giving 100% while working and that was because his mind was clouded by Bella. Tanya explained to Bella that by her loving him they way she did she was going to destroy him. Now why would Tanya do this would you ask, well it was simple, she was in love with Edward too.

Her exact words were "I know that this is hard for you to hear Bella but I am what he really needs. You could never be enough to fulfill his every desire. It takes a strong woman to give Edward the support that he is going to need as a doctor. You would never be able to understand him like I could. Sure he may think that you are all there is for him. But, you do realize that is only because he doesn't know any different. He is just thinking like a boy because you are his first love. And Bella you know that first loves are not meant to last. I could show him what it truly is to be loved." So here was a total stranger tell Bella what deep down she always knew.

Bella knew that Edward loved her with everything that he has. There was no one that could deny the love that Edward felt for Bella, all you had to do was spend 5 seconds in his presence to feel it coming off him in waves. And Edward was her whole life, when she was away from him she felt like a part of herself was missing.

But lately it has just not been enough. To Bella it seemed that fate was finally catching up to her and realizing that she did not belong with Edward. She always had been aware that Edward was too good for her, but she fooled herself into thinking that it could work. Tanya's phone call had just made her realize that she was letting Edward down. She was holding him back from greatness, and that was not except-able.

Whenever Edward was off from work it seemed like Bella was always at work. They times that they did have off she wanted him to worry about himself not her. His only thoughts should be about his residency and becoming the best doctor he could be. But because he knew that she was worrying about them and lonely he wasn't taking care of himself. He was staying up when he should sleep, he was going out when he should be at home studying for his next surgery. Bella had the feeling that she was putting his future at risk and she knew that she wasn't worth that. She believed that he could do better then her, she had always felt that way.

Edward was a wonderful man he always put others needs in front of his own. Everything that he did showed how caring , compassionate, loyal and affectionate he was. He loved with his whole heart and never held anything back. Bella felt like she was always taking but never giving anything back.

But what Bella was unable to see and accept was that they were perfect for each other. Bella didn't realize that she was the most selfless person that walked the face of the earth. Everyone around her saw the warm loving woman that she was. Sure she was shy and a little bit of a loner, but for the people in her life she gave 100%. She gave all of herself and never asked for anything in return. If anyone ever needed help with anything Bella was the first person there for them. But she never saw that about herself. To her it was just the way that it should be. She couldn't comprehend that there were people that wanted to be there for her in the same way. Bella felt that she didn't deserve his love. Bella felt that she didn't deserve any love.

To be able to understand why Bella felt this way you have to be aware of how she grew up. You see Bella has not had a easy life. Her parents were never parents, Renee and Charlie just didn't have it in them. Bella thought that they maybe loved her deep down, but they did not know how to love.

Her parents became pregnant with her while they were in High School. There parents forced them against their will to marry. They tried to make it work for Bella, but they were just kids themselves. Then one day when Bella was only 10 weeks old Charlie returned home from work to find Renee gone. Charlie did his best to raise Bella on his own. Charlie had just joined the police force in Forks Washington it was a good job that allowed him to keep an eye on his young daughter. Bella never heard from her mother, it was like she didn't exist. Bella didn't know how to process that. She didn't have a mother, she could never understand what she had did wrong.

Charlie and Bella were lucky to have the help of his some of Charlie's long time friends from the Reservation in La Push. They helped looked after Bella when Charlie had to work and they had became her second family. Bella was never given much physical affection Charlie was not comfortable with showing emotions. Bella tried to do everything in her power to make herself useful so that she was worthy of Charlies love.

One day when Bella was 9 Renee showed up out of the blue with her new husband, Phil. When Phil had found out that Renee had a daughter he wanted her to come live with them so they could be a family. Charlie, who had never gotten over his love for Renee, just let them take Bella away without a fight. Charlie couldn't deny Renee anything and thought that maybe it would be good for Bella to be with her mother. Bella was growing older and Charlie thought that all girls needed there mother. So Bella was torn from the only family and home that she had ever known and was taken across the country. It was hard for Bella to be made to live with a mother that she didn't know.

Renee was a little disappointed when she saw her daughter again, Bella's mahogany locks and soulful brown eyes were not what she remembered. She had hoped that Bella would of kept the blue eyes and light hair that she had as a baby. But Renee felt that with the right help she could make Bella looks work for her. She did have a beautiful heart shaped face and she was thin with slight curves. Again this made Bella feel like she wasn't good enough.

For the next 6 years she lived with her mother and step-father in Jacksonville, Florida that is when they were home. Phil was a minor league baseball player and her mom always traveled with him so there were weeks on end that Bella was left in the care of Phil's Aunt Jane. Jane was not happy with being stuck caring for Bella, she had no time for a little girl. So Bella found comfort in books. Bella was a shy, quite little girl that didn't have many friends other then her books.

Renee didn't understand Bella, she was always outgoing with a lot of friends. So Renee took it upon herself to help Bella come out of her shell. She would invite kids over for wild parties and force Bella into crazy revealing outfits. Renee thought it was a phase that Bella would grow out of, but when all her attempts failed she was forced to see that Bella wasn't going to change. So at the tender age of 15 Renee put Bella back on a plane to Forks, Washington.

Bella was completely lost at this point. She withdrew further into herself. She felt like no body wanted her and she felt like it was her fault. Bella believed that it was because of her that her mother had left her as a baby. She believed that she didn't do enough to help her father, why else would he have just let her go without a fight. Then she felt like she was a failure as a daughter when she couldn't be what her mother wanted. Bella had tried to be what Renee wanted, but the harder she tried the more her mom wanted from her. She felt that she was a horrible person unworthy of love. The whole summer Bella sunk into a deep depression, where she did nothing but cook, clean and read her books. She hardly ever left the house and when she did it was only to buy more groceries. She thought about killing herself but she didn't want to put Charlie through the hassle of her funeral.

When school started something miraculous happened, she meet the Cullens. Alice was a small energized girl that had light green eyes are wild black hair and she was just what Bella needed. Alice didn't mind that Bella loved books she excepted her for who she was. Alice and Bella had first period together, and they spent the whole class talking.

Bella had been dreading lunch, she was ready to hide in the library the whole period, but Alice made her sit with her and her family. So that day Bella met Alice's older brother Emmett, he was a big muscular guy and at first sight he was very scary looking, but his light brown hair and blue eyes and his constant jokes made him more like a teddy bear. At the table was also Jasper Whitlock who just so happened to be Alice's boyfriend. Jasper was a very serious tall lanky boy with Blond hair and honey colored eyes. Jasper was the exact opposite of Alice but they were perfect for one another. And then there was Rosalie Hale. Rosalie was everything that Renee wanted Bella to be she was tall, blond and gorgeous. Rosalie was a little standoffish and seemed cold but deep down she was a good person. Emmett and Rosalie were also a perfect couple Rosalie kept Emmett in line and and he put a little fun into her life.

It was funny how every person at the lunch table was so different but at the same time they all just seemed to fit together. Alice explained that she had a twin brother Edward but he didn't attend Forks High he was a serious student who went to a science intense charter school. Edward had his future all planned out he was going to follow their fathers footsteps and become a doctor. Alice couldn't wait until Bella met him. She just knew that Bella was her brother Edward's other half.

Bella and Alice became fast friends they were inseparable. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie all treated Bella like they had known her all her life. For the first time in her life Bella felt like maybe she could belong. But there was always the fear that they would realize that she was nothing and leave her just like everyone else. Alice kept trying to get Bella to come over her house but Bella always had a excuse. But nothing would stop Alice from spending every minute that she could with Bella. She would spend hours at Bella's house doing homework and helping Bella make dinner for Charlie before going to her own home.

Alice was just buying her time before she could get Bella and Edward together. Alice ended up having to wait 2 weeks until she could introduce Edward and Bella, but it was well worth the wait. It was at First Beach in La Push, Charlie with the help of Alice and his friends from the Reservation through Bella a Sweet 16th Birthday party. Bella was sitting on a piece of driftwood on the Beach when she got her first look at Edward Cullen. Edward was walking towards the water with Emmit, Jasper and Alice, he was wearing white board shorts and nothing else. His lean muscular body made Bella's mouth water. At that moment Edward stopped to push a lock of his crazy bronze hair out of his eyes when he caught his first sight of Bella. Emerald green eyes crashed with soulful Brown and that was all it took it was love at first sight. They spend the rest of the day playing on the beach with her friends and Edward and her life felt whole for the first time ever.

Bella could never understand how he could love her. She felt that she was just plain, that there was nothing remarkable about her. She tried to fight it, she told Edward that she was not good enough for him but he didn't listen. Edward went everywhere that Alice and Bella were. He was not going to give up on making Bella his. He sent her cards, wrote her songs on his piano, and sent her flowers. Bella resisted not because she didn't love Edward, but because she thought that he could do better. Edward was brilliant at everything that he did he had a solid 4.0 GPA, he could play the piano better then anyone Bella had ever heard, he was extremely handsome, and anything that he did just seemed to turn to gold. Bella felt that she couldn't compete with that and Edward should be with someone that could. It took Edward a full year to convince Bella to be his official girlfriend. But once he did there was no looking back they did everything together.

Edward had his work cut out for him in their relationship. Bella fought him on everything, he would buy her a gift and she would try to make him take them back. She felt that Edward was everything in there relationship and she couldn't stand to take anymore. Bella felt that she has nothing to offer Edward, but all he wanted was her. They were each others first loves and Edward swore that she was going to be his only. Edward said he would never let anything separate them.

Those two years were amazing for the three couples. The went on many triple dates, and always had the time of there lives. At the end of the year half of there group was off to college. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper were a year older then Edward, Alice and Bella. So it was Edward and Bella's job to keep Alice from completely losing her mind without Jasper. So as a surprise Bella bought everyone web cams so that they could be together even if they were miles apart.

But their biggest problem came when it was time to apply to college. Bella was only planning on applying to community college, but Edward refused to apply to any school that Bella wasn't applying to. Bella could not let him do that so after many hours of fighting Bella agreed to apply to all the same collages as Edward. Bella only humored Edward by applying she never thought that she would get in anywhere.

So 2 months later when the time came for the acceptance letters to come in Bella was prepared to comfort Edward and convince him that he had to go to the college of his choice and not worry about her. She was even thinking that she would attend a community college near his college of choice so they could still be together. Alice had made everyone wait to open there letters until they could do them all together, she called it there Acceptance party. What she was not expecting as she was sitting in between Edward and Alice was to be accepted into every single college that Edward got accepted to.

So now it was decision time, where to go. Bella was screaming that there was no way that she could go to an ivy league school when Charlie decided to crash there party. He told Bella that she was going anywhere that she wanted because he had been saving for years and with the grant Bella had received thru a essay contest she had plenty of money to go anywhere.

So after much debate Edward and Bella settle on Dartmouth College. Jasper was already at Harvard University so as soon as Alice opened her acceptance letter she was going there to join him. She didn't even open her other letters. With Emmit and Rosalie both attending Yale University, it looked like the whole gang was going to be within a few hours of each other. They got together every few weeks with the gang and even though they were all at different colleges they were still never far from each other and there bond stayed just as strong.

Dartmouth College proved to be just what Bella needed. Getting accepted gave her a moments of self worth. She believed that maybe she was good enough for Edward. Bella knew that Edward would never cheat on her, and she also knew that he would never leave her. Those 8 years were full of ups and downs. There were still girls that were smarter, more talented and more beautiful, but it didn't matter. Those girls were always throwing themselves at Edward but he never payed them any mind. Whenever Bella would bring it up Edward would always just laugh and tell her that it didn't matter because she was it for him.

When they achieved they bachelors degree they were faced with another life changing decision. Edward's next 4 years were set in stone, he would be attending medical school. Bella had no idea what she wanted to do. She didn't want to be away from Edward for 4 years. She looked into apartments and jobs near campus, but nothing worked for her. One night Edward came home with books for Bella to look at. They were about the masters degree program, he figured that it would give them another 1 ½ to 2 years to figure something out. It turned out to be the perfect solution.

Two weeks before she was scheduled to graduate with her masters her mentor Professor Siobhan, pulled her into her office and suggested that Bella should continue with her education and receive her PhD. Bella was blown away. After leaving the office she called Edward and asked if they could meet. They met at the coffee house next store to the hospital. She waited for almost an hour before Edward could get away. Bella never looked at Edward when he sat down, she jumped right into her story. When Bella finished explaining to him what Professor Siobhan said she finally looked at him. Edward just stared at her with his mouth wide open. Without any warning Edward grabbed Bella and lifted her into his arms.

During there 8 years at Dartmouth Bella came to realize that maybe just maybe she was enough for Edward. And when she realized that things got better, and she allowed there love to grown and flourish. Bella was finally secure in herself and in Edward's love. She still had moments where the voiced in her head would tell her that this wasn't going to last but they were coming farther and farther apart. And when they did all it took was one look from Edward and they shut right up.

The feelings of security that Bella had while they were in college had disappeared. The happy little bubble that they had created was slowly leaking. Bella heard those little voices again telling her that she wasn't enough and she never would be. She just kept thinking that Tanya was right, she could love Edward more then Bella did. That Tanya was the women that he needed in his future. Bella believed that she was his past but that Tanya was his future.

Without Edward there all the time to chase away the thoughts Bella started to listen to them. Then it didn't take very long until Bella started believing them. Bella concluded that she had to leave Edward, it was the only way to protect him from herself. She was going to destroy him and pull him down until he had nothing. And there was no way that she would let that happen. Edward meant to much to her for her to let that happen. She was going to leave so that he could find real happiness with someone more deserving. But now she just had to think of a way to do it. Edward would not let her go easy. He was way to loving, and loyal to her not to. Edward deserved to have it all and sadly that was Not Bella.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 More Than I Could?

Edward ran out of the back hospital doors searching for his love Bella, he was running late as usual and hoped that Bella had waited for him. They tried to meet for lunch at least twice a week, it wasn't enough, but Edward would take whatever he could get. As he scanned the courtyard his eyes fell on her and she looked like the angel that she was. She was sitting on their bench, the sun was to the back of her making her long mahogany hair glow, the sight made his heart stop and his breath hitch. She was just so beautiful and he was frozen staring at her.

When Edward was finally able to breath again he continued walking towards her. He dropped down next to Bella pulling her into his arms and pressing a soft yet passionate kiss to her lips. It had been too long, it had been 2 days since her lips had been on his. That one kiss was nowhere near enough so he swept his tongue across her bottom lip asking for permission to deepened it. Bella opened her mouth to him. When Edward's tongue entered Bella's mouth it tasted like heaven. His hands took on a mind of there own and started playing with the hem of her shirt. He grazed his hand across her lace covered breast and they both moaned at the sensation.

Sanity finally returned and Edward reluctantly pulled his hands away. But he kept Bella tight into his side. He was going to take advantage of the feel of her body pressed for as long as he could. "I am so sorry I'm late. I got stuck helping a patient. Thank You for waiting for me." Edward spoke softly into Bella's ear. "I Love You."

"Oh, Edward it's fine." Bella weakly smiled up at him. "You know that I would wait for you, I always do."

This made Edward frown, he knew that the last few months have been hard on her, hell they were hard on him, but it was something that had to be done. "My shift ends at 11:30 tonight and then I have a whole 36 hours off. Are you off tomorrow maybe we could go out. I heard that there is a book reading in the park, maybe we could check that out? It sounds like it could be fun we can bring a picnic and relax on a blanket just like we use to." Edward's smiled his crooked smile that Bella loved so much. "Do you remember all those spring and summer days in the meadow? Do you remember all the times we made love out there. Sometimes I wish that we were still there. Everything seemed so easy there"

Blushing Bella hid her face in the junction between his shoulder and neck. Smiling to herself she finally looked up and into Edward's eyes. He had spoken with such longing and love that as she stared into his emerald green eyes, she could see tell that he meant those words to the dept of his very soul. She could just get lost in him, he made her feel like she was home. As they continued to stare into each others eyes she saw new emotions playing across them, she saw love, adoration, fatigue, confusion and most of all pain. It just broke her heart to see all those emotions and knowing that she put them there. She had to let him go so that he had a chance to be really happy. She never wanted to see pain there, pain did not belong in the eyes of someone so beautiful.

Bella knew that her leaving was going to be hard on him in the beginning. They had spent just about 10 years together and that was a lot of history. They had spent there whole adult life loving one another. Everything that they did they did together. During the hard times and the good times they were always able to count on the other. Even after almost 10 years for some reason Edward didn't see that she wasn't worth it, but Bella knew that it was only a matter of time before he figured it out. She couldn't stand the waiting anymore, the waiting was driving her crazy. She had to find a way to make him realize that he really could do better. Tanya was who he deserved to be with. She was the one that he was suppose to love.

"That sounds great Edward. I have to run into the office tomorrow, but I will go early while you are still dead to the world. I'll be back before you even had a chance to know that I was gone. Now lets eat, I stopped at the restaurant you like by my work and got us mushroom ravioli. I also stopped and got you a extra large espresso, I thought you could use the caffeine." Smiling to herself Bella handing Edward his lunch and espresso and started eating.

Edward grabbed his food from Bella's outstretched hands and couldn't help but let his hand linger a little longer then necessary. "God, Bella, you are amazing this is just what I needed good food and even better company. And just so you know I will know the second that you leave the bed, I always do."

Edward silently thanked the gods above for sending Bella to him. She always took such good care of him. He wasn't even thinking about food, he had just wanted to see her. He placed a chase kiss on her and started to eat.

Just as Bella was about to respond Dr Tanya Denali walked by. "Oh Dr Cullen I have been looking all over for you. I need you to run Mr Aro's pre-op labs. We also need to run another MRI to make sure that there were no changes since his last scan." Just then Tanya turned to the right and saw Bella sitting there. "Sorry I didn't see that you there I'm Dr Tanya Denali, you must be Bella we hear a lot about you on the floor. It is nice to finally put a face to the name. Well Dr Cullen please have those labs and tests done by 2:30. I'll see you up there. Bye Bella it was nice to finally meet you." She glared at Bella as she turned and gracefully walked back into the hospital.

Edward let out a big sigh. "I am really sorry Love, but I am going to have to get back to work."

Bella smiles weakly up at Edward. "It's okay I understand. I should be getting back anyway I have a lot to do if I want to take the majority of tomorrow off. We will have a whole day to be together, you'll see everything is going to work out the way that it is meant to be." Bella busies herself putting everything back in the bag that it came in and hands it to Edward. "Here take this maybe you will find time to eat it later, it should heat up well. You really need to start taking better care of yourself you know, you are a doctor you should know better."

"You know that I do not deserve you. I Love You, I will see you in 12 hours, and then I am all yours for a full 36 hours." Edward takes the bag from Bella's hands and places it on the bench. Pulling Bella into his arms he puts his finger under her chin so that she is facing him. Edward capture Bella's lips in his and gave her a heated kiss. Bella could never deny him wrapping her arms around his neck she clings to him while they kissed. He pulls her body flesh against his where she can fell his erection pressed to her stomach. Moaning into Edwards mouth Bella gently ends the kiss smiling. "Love, do you have any idea what you do to me? Now I have a serious problem on my hands. How do you suppose I work like this?" Directing there gazes down to Edward's erection tented in his scrub pants.

Smiling to herself Bella slowly runs her hand over Edwards "problem". Cupping him gently in her hand, she gives his erection a squeeze "I would be more then happy to help you with that, but alas you have work to do and so do I." With that Bella pulls her body from his arms and runs to her car.

Edward watched Bella run with his mouth hanging open. "You are going to be the death of me, Woman." He screams to her retreating form. With a smile on his face he runs back up to the 3rd floor to get Mr Aro's tests and labs run. Knowing that in 12 short hours he would be crawling into bed besides Bella made it a lot easier for Edward to finish his shift. The fatigue that he had been feel just an hour ago had melted away with the first touch of Bella's lips to his.

Edward knew deep down that Bella didn't see herself very clearly, but he had made a vow 10 years ago to be with her forever and he meant those words just as much now as he did then. Nothing was going to make him stop loving her. With that thought in his head and heart Edward walked into his patients room. He spent the rest of his shift with a constant smile on his face.

Now the second that Bella reaches the car she burst into tears. How was she going to survive without him? All that Bella knows is how to be with Edward. Her whole adult life has been filled with Edward and all the things that they do together. Edward was the very air that she breathed. Every thought that she had about her future involve Edward. She doesn't know who she is without Edward anymore. And that scares her. When she was younger she was always alone, she felt safe that way. She wasn't happy but she was content. Now 1 hour without Edward and she felt like there was a hole in her that didn't close until they were together again.

Watching Dr Tanya Denali talking to Edward, the way she was undressing him with her eyes, Bella knew that she was doing the right thing. Edward deserved to be with someone like Tanya, she was his match in every way. Edward had told Bella a lot about Dr Denali, he said that she was a amazing doctor that could not only perform a surgery flawlessly but also was able to teach the other residents how to do it at the same time. As if that wasn't enough Tanya was gorgeous she had long slender legs, a body that even makes other women look at her with envy. Her violate eyes and long curly strawberry blond hair just was the icing on top of the perfection that was Dr Tanya Denali. Bella knew that she couldn't complete with that. She knew that the words Tanya had spoken on the phone were the truth. Tanya wanted Edward and she knew that the second she was out of the picture Edward would see that he really wanted Tanya. He would move on and realize that Bella had never been good enough for him.

So now Bella had to let him go. It was going to be hard but it would be worth it to know that Edward would be truly happy. She was just going to find that girl within herself again that didn't need anyone. Edward would always have her heart. She wouldn't be whole anymore, but that was the price that needed to be paid. Bella just kept hearing the famous words "If you love someone let them go." and that is what she was going to do. Because she did love Edward more then her own happiness.

She had been thinking of this plan for the last couple of days and now it was time that she put it into action. First though she was going to have this last 36 hours with Edward and then she would be gone from his life. Bella only hoped that one day they would be able to be friends. Returning to her office she went right to her boss and asked him if the position in New York was still open. A few weeks ago he had come to her saying that a position in the New York office had a opening and he thought that she would be perfect for the job. When it was first offered she had turned it down because she couldn't be away from Edward, but now she saw it as her new start. Upon leaving his office she had agreed to leave for New York in 3 days. It didn't leave her much time to pack, but she wasn't going to take much.

Bella's only hope was that in time everyone would forgive her for leaving Edward. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett had all always been so close with Bella and Edward. She was hoping that she wouldn't have to give up that forever. They were the only thing that she had that even resembled a family. And she could only hope that in time they would be happy that she was able to do this for Edward.

Rosalie and Emmett were married now and living in New York. Rosalie worked on Wall Street, and Emmett was a junior partner in one of New York's best law firms. Bella had come to the conclusion that Rosalie would understand why she did what she did. Rosalie had always secretly agreed that Edward could do better, but Emmett was a different story. Emmett loved his little brother and would hate her until Edward moved on and everyone could see that she had only done what was best for him.

Alice and Jasper had yet to get married, but had been engaged for over 2 years and had a huge wedding planned for next year. Alice had said she wanted to wait to get marred until Edward and Bella had the time to devote to there duties as Best Man and Maid of Honor. Bella was glad that Alice and Jasper lived in Los Angeles most of the year. They did have a flat in New York, but Alice only ever used that for the occasional weekends and then during the time leading up to the Fashion Weeks. You see Alice was a top fashion designer and Jasper was a museum historian who traveled the world teaching the museums new ways to bring that history to life. She knew that Alice was going to hate her. Alice maybe would forgive her when Edward was with someone else but she wasn't going to hold her breath. Alice was always claimed that she was Edward's other half and that they were perfect for each other.

Reaching the townhouse that Edward and Bella shared she hurried in and cleaned everything. She pulled a few things out of her drawers and packed them in her suitcase that was kept in the guest bedroom. She couldn't pack a lot or else Edward would notice and she knew that she was being selfish but she need these 36 hours with Edward to keep her the rest of her life. Because even though Edward would be moving on probably with the beautiful Tanya, she knew that she never would. Edward was the love of her life, he was her other half and she was aware that she would never find that with someone else. So she was destined to spend the rest of her life alone, but for Edward she would do it a 100 times over.

Once the house was spotless, she made herself a small salad and sat at the kitchen counter to eat. After finishing her simple meal she walked into the bedroom that they shared and changed into a sexy outfit that Alice had given her last year. Grabbed a book she laid on the bed reading while she waited for Edward to arrive home.

Rushing home after his shift ended Edward carefully opened the door to the bedroom and peeked in. Bella was fast asleep on top of the comforter in a sexy midnight blue lace tank top and boy-shorts. She was laying on her stomach with her book opened in front of her. It was the hottest thing he had ever seen. His "problem" from earlier was back in an instant. He stood there caressing his stiff erection thru his thin scrub pants while he watched her sleep. He wanted nothing more then to grab Bella awaken her with his kiss and push his stiff cock into her hot core. But he would never do that too her, he knew that he wasn't the only one that worked long hours. So he turned to the in-suite bathroom and stripped out of his scrubs and hopped in the shower.

Having finished his shower he pulled on a clean pair of boxers and crept into bed pulling Bella against him. He let out a sigh of contentment, he was home. Bella turned in his arms and pressed herself against him. Edward smiling into her hair, "Hi, beautiful. Sorry I woke you go back to sleep."

Bella just shook her head and pressed her lips to his chest. Caressing her hands slowly down Edwards sides she hooked her fingers in the waistband of his boxers and gently pulled them over his bulging hard-on. "Bella, Love, please don't start anything that you can't finish. I need you so bad. If you don't stop now I will not be able to control myself."

"Edward who said anything about stopping. I need you too. I feel so empty and you are the only thing that makes me feel full." That is all that Bella was able to get out before Edward crushed his lips to hers in a kiss that was fueled with love, passion and need. Edward and Bella were pouring all of there emotions into that kiss. For Bella it was the beginning of the end, and for Edward it was his way of showing Bella that she was his everything. It is ironic how one simple act can have two very different meanings.

Within seconds Edward was pulling Bella tank top over her head and he began to worship Bella's breasts with his hands and mouth. Bella was gently running her nails across his smooth back and sides, causing Edward to moan into her breasts. After what felt like a eternity Edward slowly began his decent down Bella's torso his tongue circling her navel as he hooked his fingers in her delicate lace boy-shorts and ripping them from her body. This just caused Bella's need to intensify tenfold. She pulled Edward up by his hair so that he could settle himself between her legs.

With one smooth thrust Edward pushed himself fully into Bella's hot core. With that one motion Edward was home and Bella was complete. Tears started to fall from Bella's eyes as Edward began to move slowly and tenderly in and out of her dripping wet core.

They made love slowly there was no need to rush. They kissed and touched and it was a beautiful night. As Bella's body was reaching it's peak Edward carefully slipped his hand between there bodies and stroked her swollen clit. Bella came apart in that moment her world coming apart at the dreams and she was flying thru the clouds. As Bella's body clamped down on Edward's cock he exploded and his hot seed spilled into Bella's body.

No words were needed the act alone spoke things that words never could. After a few minutes of pure bliss spent wrapped in easy others arms Edward slowly rose off the bed and lifted Bella bridal style into his arms. He carried her into the bathroom and sat her gently on the counter. He turned briefly away from her and began to fill the tub with hot water. Once it was filled he lifted Bella back into his arms and gently stepped into the tub. Settling himself down he cradled Bella into his lap. They cleaned each other and kissed some more. When both of there bodies were clean and the water began to cool Edward stepped out of the tub never letting Bella down and grabbed two towels to dry their wet bodies. Once he was satisfied that they were dry he carried her back to bed and gently laid her down before sliding in next to her. They kissed for a few more minutes before falling into a deep peaceful slumber.

The next morning the first ray of light brushed Bella's face waking her from the best nights sleep. Bella got out of bed quickly and rushed to close the blinds before they light could wake Edward. Turning back to Edward she couldn't stop herself from brushing his hair out of his eyes. With one last look at Edward she rushed into the bathroom to get dressed. She grabbed her keys and was out the door.

She drove to her office to clean out her desk and make sure everything was finalized for her move. Putting everything into boxes, she left them with the mail room to be shipped for her to the New York Office. She was lucky that the company owned a apartment building where she was given a fully furnished apartment to use for as long as she wanted in New York. Saying goodbye to her colleges she walked out of the building with a heavy heart.

Bella pulled into her and Edward's favorite corner bakery and got Edward all his favorite treats for breakfast. After stopping at the coffee shop and getting two cups of caramel lattes to go Bella made her way back home. This was going to be the last full day Bella ever spent with Edward and she wasn't going to waste a minute of it.

Once she arrived home it took her 15 minutes to stop crying before she stepped out of the car. Entering the apartment Bella put both cups of coffee in the microwave to reheat and put the pastries on a plate. Once they were heated she grabbed everything and returning to the bedroom and Edward. Carefully setting the coffees and pastries on the bedside table she stripped naked and climbed into bed. Ever so gently Bella started kissing Edward all over his face. It didn't take long for a huge smile to appear on Edward beautiful face. He snaked his arms around Bella's waist and pulled her close to him.

"Good morning handsome, I have coffee and pastries for you this fine morning." Bella whispered in his ear. "Sit up and I will give you your special treats."

Edward sat up in bed and propped himself up on the pillows. Once he was seated and comfortable Bella handed him a coffee and the plate of goodies. After he had selected one Bella took it back from him and returned it to the table. Turning back to him she looked at Edward with a devilish smile. Then before he could say anything she whipped the sheet off his lap and took his cock in her hot mouth. Edward hardened instantly causing him to moan in pure ecstasy. He was panting hard he quickly leaned over in bed to place his breakfast on the table. He needed to have his hands free so that could place his hands in Bella beautiful hair.

"Bella baby, What are you doing? OOOHHHH God, that feels so good," he moaned. Edward stroked her cheek and hair and he accepted the pleasure that Bella was bringing him. As Bella withdrew his cock from her mouth she locked eyes with Edward and swirled her tongue around the head of his cock. Watching Bella suck his cock was the hottest thing Edward had ever seen. She drew his cock back into her mouth and sucked him deep into her throat. Edward found his release in minutes and pulled Bella up into his chest. "That was amazing. By all means feel free to wake me like that anytime you want."

Pain and anguish were apparent in Bella's eyes. "Edward do you mind if we just stay home in bed all day. I really just want to be close to you today." Tears slipped out the corner of her eyes as she stared with longing at Edward.

"Bella don't cry, love. We can do whatever you want. I would like nothing better then to stay here are hold you all day." Edward held Bella close as she cried. "You do know that what you just described is my idea of utopia. I love you." Edward help her close stroking her hair and back trying to get her to calm down.

When the tears finally stopped Bella had purged all the anguish that she was feeling over leaving. She vowed to herself that she was going to just enjoy Edward today and worry about everything else tomorrow.

Edward knew that Bella was keeping something from him and he realized that it was bad. He was not going to worry about it now, Bella would tell him when she was ready. Knowing that Bella was a very complex person and that sometimes she just needed to process everything in her head before talked to him about it. Plus she always had a hard time keeping things from him for very long.

So the day was spent watching movies, cuddling and making love. They had take out delivered when they were hungry and fed each other naked in bed. Bella set the alarm for 5 am knowing that she would need the time to explain to Edward what she had to do.

In the early hours of the morning Bella pushed Edward onto his back and climbed on top of him. Plunging her hot wet sex on his pulsating erection Bella rode him hard and fast. She wanted to make sure that Edward never forgot there time together. Bella made herself savor ever second of it for she intended it to be there last time. Edward came hard with one last thrust into Bella, this brought on her own orgasm. Completely spent Bella let her tears fall once again as Edward held her tightly in his arms.

While Edward made love to Bella that night he realized what was happening. He could feel that Bella was saying goodbye. He held Bella while she sobbed her heart out. As she cried Edward made a vow to himself that he would do everything in his power to keep Bella. Once she had finally fallen into an exhausted sleep Edward finally let go of the emotions that he had been holding in. Holding her tight he allowed himself to sobbed into her hair. When there were no more tears Edward fell into a restless sleep clutching Bella tightly into his side unwilling to ever let her go.

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This is my first fanfiction, Please Review.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Stephanie Meyer is the genius that owns it all.**

**Sorry I wasn't able to update this any sooner, but I was in a car accident this week and have been going crazy trying to get everything straightened out.**

Chapter 3 Black & White

Bella did not sleep well that night. Her dreams were plagued with images of Edward holding Tanya the way that he had only ever held her before. All she kept seeing was them making love, of Tanya screaming Edward's name as she reached her organism. The worst image of all was of Tanya round with Edward's child, and Edward lovingly rubbing, and kissing her stomach. Waking with a start Bella once again started sobbing. The thought of Tanya in Edward embrace was just to much to bear.

At that moment Bella was glad that she would be in New York and wouldn't have to see them happy together. The thought of anyone else touching Edward was killing her. She had never thought of herself as a jealous person, but this proved that she was. Edward was hers, he always had been and she wanted it to always be that way. But she wasn't a little kid anymore, and wasn't there a point in every adult life that you had to stop believing in fairy tales. Life with Edward was her fairytale but now she knew that she wasn't going to get her happily ever after.

Bella was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear Edward waking. It startled her when Edward pushed her hair out of her face so he could look into her eyes. He placed a soft chase kiss to her lips. Emerald green eyes clashed with soulful brown and the emotions in each set were deep and painful.

"Bella don't do this." Hearing Edwards voice just caused her to sob more. Edward pulled himself up into a sitting position and lifted Bella up into his lap. "Whatever I did wrong we can fix it. I know that you're not happy, but I promise that I will do anything to make you happy again. I Love You so damn much, baby."

Startled Bella looked into Edward's pleading eyes. "I Love You too. This has nothing to do with Love though. My Love is not enough. And know that you did nothing wrong. How could you even think that? You are perfect in every way. This is about me. I am not good for you Edward. I have never been good for you., but you would never see that. I am just going to hold you back, you deserve better than that. You deserve someone that is your equal, and we both know that that isn't me."

Edward started to speak but Bella put her finger across his lips to stop him. Leaning in she removed her finger and lightly pressed her lips to his. "I have a lot that I have to say to you before I leave. I need you to let me get this out. It is not something that is easy to say but it has to be done. Can you do that for me please?"

"Okay, you can say what you need to say. Just know that I will always do anything within my power to keep you with me. Making us work is my number one priority." Edward grazes his fingers down Bella's face to cup her chin in his hands. "Just know that just because you say something doesn't mean that I have to agree with it. I also will have things to say and I hope that you will give me the same respect and listen to what I have to say." He placed a soft kiss on her plumb lips.

"Of course. Respect has never been an issue with us I don't think. I will let you say what you have to say when I'm done Edward, it is only fair. But I have made up my mind." Blowing out a deep breath Bella continued mumbling to herself. "I have no idea how to do this." Looking down Bella shook her head. Tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.

"Then don't." Edward interrupted. "You do not have to do this Bella. Whatever it is can't be that bad, we can get thru it together." Brushing his thumb under her eyes collecting her tears. He kissed her eyelids. "We have always found a way to make us work. This time will be no different."

"I have to. Don't think for one second that this is easy for me. But it is the right thing to do. And you know how I always like to do the right thing?" Winking at him, Bella just couldn't help but tease Edward just a little bit. "Edward we have both been so busy. The last 8 years have been crazy busy for the both of us, but now it's different. I have so much time by myself now and it scares me. It scares me not because I think you don't love me, and it's not because I'm afraid that you are going to leave me. I'm scared because I don't know what to do without you. I can't be alone anymore, I don't know how. Before Alice and you came into my life I was always alone, and I was fine with that. I could always look into myself and I knew that I was okay. Now 2 hours by myself and I feel so incomplete. You are my whole life, without you I feel like I am no one. To be truthful I don't know who I am without you."

Getting out of bed Bella wraps the sheet around her body and starts pacing in front of the window. Edward just sat on the bed pinching the bridge of his nose and running his fingers thru his hair. He was going to let Bella have her say without interruption. He just kept reciting that over and over in his head.

"When we were younger we did everything together. It was always Edward and Bella together. We became a unit and we stopped being individuals. I have nothing that isn't yours as well. I do not have a single memory that you are not in. Edward you are my whole life. I need you for my happiness. You are the air that I breath. And I loved that. I loved being a part of your life."

"But I am only a part of your life. Edward you have a family that loves you and would do anything for you. Your parents think about you, Alice and Emmett first. I don't have that. My parents are not really parents. They do what is best for them and I am expected to just fit in with that. Your family would never think that way. They have treated me better then my parents ever will. I know they only do this because I am with you. And they feel that it is expected of them, they would do this for anyone you were with. But they are not my family, not really. And I forgot that for a while. I have began to rely on you and your family."

Edward swing his legs off the bed and leaned his elbows on his knees so that he could cradle his head in his hands. He was beside himself with grief. He wanted to stop her right there, she was being ridiculous. His family loved her for her not because she was with him. It didn't matter that they were together even if they had broken up years ago she would still have a place within the Cullen clan. Alice had considered her a sister even before they had even met. Emmett loved her just like he loved Alice. You can't imagine how many times his siblings had threatened to disown him and adopt Bella if he ever hurt her. But Edward allowed her to continue her rambling. Not because he agreed with anything that she was saying, but because he promised her he would.

"That scares me so much. I have never relied on someone before. I have always been the one that was relied on. You know that I was always the mature one with my parents. It was more like I was the parent. I did everything in the house, I cooked, I cleaned and I made all the doctor appointments. It was always me."

"Then I meet you and you started doing things for me. You didn't need me to take care of you. You started doing things for me. And it wasn't because you had to it was because you wanted to. For the first time in my life I had someone taking care of me. Everything that I have accomplished, I have accomplished because of you. "

"Do you realize that I don't even have any of my own possessions. The clothes that I wear I don't even really own. Alice has always bought me everything I wear." Bella walked over to her closet staring at the contents and laughing softly to herself. Alice always sent her sample clothing from her latest collection. At first she hated all the fancy clothing pushed on her but over time she grew to love it. She ran her fingers along the many cloths loving the feel of the different material. Bella needed a minute to collect herself before she continued. Turning back towards the bed that Edward was still sitting on she took a deep cleansing breath.

"While we were in school we lived in your apartment. Your parents furnished it for you. When we got to Dartmouth you bought a SUV knowing that our cars was being shipped. You said that it would be good to have a 4x4 around with the snow and everything, and you never once drove it. You got that SUV for me, you knew my truck was going to die and I wouldn't be able to get myself a new one. Then when we moved here you bought us this beautiful house. We have been here for a year and you still won't let me even help with any of the bills."

"I am suppose to be a modern woman. How can I call myself a strong independent woman when you do everything for me? I have a PhD for god's sake, that should mean something, but it doesn't. I wouldn't even have my PhD if it wasn't for you. You were the one that supported me thru the whole thing. When I thought I couldn't do it you told me that I could. You have given me everything and I have given you nothing in return."

Bella pulled a long sleeve t-shirt and yoga pants out of the closet. She walked over to the dresser and pulled out a white cotton bra and matching boyshorts. She dressed while looking at Edward, she was so comfortable with him that it never even accrued to her to dress somewhere else. Edward got up off the bed in all his naked glory and walked over to the dresser. He pulled out a pair of jogging pants and slipped them on.

"Edward I need you to realize that I will die having loved only you. You have taking my whole heart for all time. There is no going back from that because I have nothing left to give to another. I would give anything to be enough for you. But it is time that I grow up and face the fact that we can not be together anymore. You have to focus on your residency, and you need someone that can help you with that. As much as it pains me that person is not me."

"I Love You with everything that I have, but I just don't have enough. I was never shown love before you and because of that I am unable to really love properly."

Bella had hoped that by getting everything out in the open it would make her feel better about what she was doing. She could not have imagined the unbearable agony that clenched her soul. By purging her soul to Edward she had effectually ripped her own heart out of her body. Her knees could no longer hold the weight of her body and she slipped to the ground. At this point the sobs raked her body.

Edward crouched down in front of Bella and pulled her up to her feet and lifted her bridal style into his arms. He carried her to the bed and sat down with her on his lap. Speaking very softly into her ear Edward keep reassuring of his love for her. He held her for what felt like hours while she cried, but it was really only minutes. Once her sobs slowed down Bella raised her head so that she could once again see Edward. What Edward saw when she looked at him will haunt him until the day that he dies. Bella looked so dead inside, her eyes which once glistened with warmth and hope, where now empty.

Reaching up Edward gently and tenderly cradles Bella's face in between his large strong hands. "Bella I don't even know what to say. These things that you just said are ridiculous, it is all nonsense. You are my world, Baby. I love you with everything that I have. Why can't you realize this? Why can't you see just how amazing you really are? You take such good care of me, if anyone is undeserving it is me. I do not deserve you. But I am a selfish creature so I take everything that you are giving. My life would not be worth living if I didn't have you to spend it with."

"My family loves you for who you are not because you are with me. Alice loved you before we even meet. It was because of the love that she has for you that she wanted us to meet. You are Alice's best friend. Do you really think that my family would be able love someone as much as they love you just because they were with me. Yes they would treat anyone that I was with with respect but they would not be so open and loving for those reasons alone. Okay so realize that my family is always going to love you. You are the 2nd daughter my parents always wanted. You know that my mom wanted a dozen kids but after having Alice and me she wasn't able to have anymore."

Edward released her face and pulled her tighter into his chest. "You know that when you are in my arms I feel whole. Bella, Baby, I love you and want to spend my life with you. Everything I do is for you. I want to always be there to take care of you."

"Now I know you hate that I pay for everything, but I have all of this money just sitting there and I am suppose to enjoy it. And I enjoy spending it on you. What is so wrong with me wanted to take care of the most important person in my life? I hate that you don't see us as equals, because my family has money. I have only just started to make my own money. If we want to honest here you have been making more money then me for the past year. So if anyone isn't equal it is me."

"I have never talked about money with you, and it's not because I don't trust you, it's because I know it means nothing to you. You love me for who I am, not for my bank balance. Do you know how much that means to me? You don't even care that I have a net worth of over $300 million."

"I hate that I have had to rely solely on my trust fund these last couple of years. It wasn't me that bought those things for us it was my family. When my grandparents died they were billionaires, and they left it all to us in equal parts. My parents, Emmett, Alice any myself never have to work a day in our lives if we didn't want to. But it doesn't mean the same as making your own money. Don't you think that I wish I could of bought you this house by myself, but I couldn't. What I spent on this house isn't even 10% of what I make yearly interest. So no I will not take your hard earned money when I have more then enough for the both of us and any children we may have."

"When you said that I am responsible for your PhD. that is just crazy. Yes I encouraged you, but I didn't do it for you. Bella that was all you. The only thing that I did was support and encourage you. When I read your thesis I thought it was the most brilliant think I have ever read. You have a amazing mind and you not only stated the facts in the matter but the story that you told allowed me to feel what those people were feeling. You deserve that PhD. you earned it."

Edward sat there twirling Bella's hair around his fingers. He just loved being able to breath her in. "Bella I am sorry that I haven't been able to spend a lot of time with you. We talked before I picked my specialty as a pediatric surgeon. I tried to explain before hand that it is a harder residency program but even I didn't realize that it would be this hard and time consuming. I hate it that I can't spend more time with you. I will give it up if it means that we can spend more time together. Because I will do whatever it takes to keep you in my life."

Bella's head snapped up and she shifted her body so that she was not straddling Edward's lap. "Edward I would never want you to change your specialty, you are a great doctor and you are going to be a even greater surgeon. You are going to be able to save so many children's lives I wouldn't think about taking that away from them."

"Bella don't you get it, if I don't have you then that means nothing to me. I am pushing myself so hard because I want to be someone that you can be proud of. You say that you are scared but I am too. You give 100% of yourself in everything that you do. You take care of me in every way and I always feel guilty for that. You always make sure that I have something decent to eat while I'm working. You take care of all my needs. You say that you rely on me, but really I rely on you. I wouldn't of been able to survive these years without you."

Edward caressed Bella's sides as he placed gentle kisses along her forehead. "We can get past this, it is just a little bump in the road."

"You say that you can't love me properly, but that is the furthest thing from the truth. Real true love is all you ever give to me. I know that I am never going to be loved by someone else the way that you love me. Everything you do for me speaks of your love. Even you trying to leave me speaks of just how much you love me. Bella we are made for each other, without you I am nothing."

Edward pressed his lips to Bella's in a passionate kiss that conveyed all his love. Bella pulled away and gave Edward a sad smile. When Edward saw the smile on her face he had thought that he had convinced her to stay. He placed his forehead against her forehead and left his lips against Bella's as he spoke next. "I Love You, Baby! I need you so bad." He ran his hands under her shirt and pulled her tight against his erection. Bella moaned softly into Edward's mouth.

The pull that Bella felt towards Edward was overwhelming. She ghosted her hands down Edward's muscular torso to rest on his tight six pack. The touch sent heat coursing through Bella's whole body. She felt the softness of his skin against her lips as she peppered soft kisses on his collarbone.

Edward looked into her eyes then slowly lowered his gaze to let them wash over her face, to her neck, and lingered on her heaving breasts. He ripped her shirt from her body and kissed the tops of her breast that were not covered by her bra. The taste of her skin sent flashes of heat through Edward's body. He had to have more! Opening her bra he allowed his lips to moved to her right breast softly kissing down to her nipple. His lips softly sucked her nipple into his mouth and it was like sucking fire into his soul.

Standing from the bed Edward gently placed Bella on her back in the middle of the bed. He lowered his face so he could place gentle kisses to her bellybutton. Putting his fingers into the waist band of her pants he slowly lowered her pants and panties down her legs. Once Bella was naked he kissed her sweet lower lips. Bella's legs slowly parted allowing Edward better access to her dripping wet core. The touch of her hand sliding up Edward's clothed thigh was his undoing. Edward tore his pants off and laid down between Bella's thighs on the bed. Allowing his arm to wrap around her soft thigh his hand gently opened her so he could press his tongue against her core. As his tongue was sliding softly over her clit he slipped two fingers inside her. Bella's hips began to rock into her face as her orgasm was fast approaching. With one final pass of his tongue over her clit Bella exploded on Edward's fingers.

Edward climbed up Bella's body and ravished her lips with his. Bella's fingers started to stroke Edward's erection. Her hand stroked Edward slowly driving him wild. She flipped him off of her so she was now on top. He felt the heat of her breath move over his neck, down his torso until she reached his erection. Her hand grabbed his cock and rubbed it over her cheek before putting in into her mouth. The feel of her warm wet mouth sent thrills through Edward. The feeling of her mouth sliding over Edward cock made him lost to the moment. The soft sounds she made were more then he could take. She started moaning around his swelling cock as he came fast and hard into her mouth

It was as if Edward and Bella's bodies were feeding off each others desire. She was on top of Edward in a flash, straddling his hips as her eyes burned into mine. Fire flashed between there eyes and her face twisted in need as she allowed his cock to glide over her wet silken entrance. Edward trusted his hips up and his cock slammed into her core. There passion had no match and it left them both breathless.

Edward watched Bella's face twist as her orgasm approached. She looked so beautiful! There bodies reacted perfectly to each other. His eyes looked into her face, seeing the blush creeping over her.

"Oh God! Edward! I'm going to cum! Cum with me baby, cum in me!" Those words were all the Edward needed to hear. He trust into her 3 more times before they both exploded into each other.

Bella collapsed on top of Edward. He wrapped his arms tightly around and kissed her forehead "Now we just have to put all this crazy talk behind us and move forward with our lives together. We have a great future ahead of us baby." Bella lifted her head off of Edward's chest and stared into his eyes.

"Edward what we just did does not change anything. Nothing that you said has changed my mind. I realize that you may think I am what's best for you but I'm not. But you have to understand that my decision is made and nothing will be able to change my mind. I know what is best for the both of us and it is not done together. My love is the wrong thing for you."

Bella pulled herself out of Edward's arms and got off the bed. "I Love You and I will love you until the day I die, but I am leaving for New York tomorrow morning. Now it's getting late and you have to be at the hospital in an hour. I am going down to Forks to see my dad before I leave." She picked up her clothes that were scattered over the carpet and quickly dressed. Crossing the room quickly he stopped to stand in front of the open doorway. She watched as Edward crumbled to his knees in anguish. As she walked out the door she heard his tortured cry and it echoing through her hollowed heart.

Edward's body slip to the floor and he crumbled in front of Bella's eyes. He cried for the love of his life that was walking out on him. He couldn't get any words out to try to stop her. It felt like he had not only lost his heart but that he had also lost control of his body. It took Edward 30 minutes to pull himself together enough to reach for his phone. He scrolled down his list of contacts until he came across the person he was looking for.

He pressed the phone to his ear and waited to hear someone to pick up.

"Emmett."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 All I know is that I should

"Hey Eddie! How's it hanging?" Emmett's booming voice came out of small speaker in the phone causing Edward to hold the phone away from his ear.

"Emmett..... I need your help." Edward chocked out the words to his big brother. "Bella left me. I don't know what to do man."

"What the fuck did you do? Do I need to come over there and kick your ass? I told you that if you ever hurt her I would kick your ass. I know your my brother, but I Love my little sis too." In that moment Edward was glad that they were on different sides of the country because he was sure if Emmett was there he would of punched him in the face. "You better start explaining now before I get the next flight out there." But he couldn't help but feel a little happy to hear the love his brother had for Bella. It really did warm his heart a little.

"I swear to you that I didn't do anything. We were fine, we spent my day off in bed, then we wake up and she says that she's leaving. She was saying that she was leaving because she thinks she can't love me enough. What the fuck is that suppose to mean. Bella also said that you guys only love her because she's with me. I told her that it is all bullshit. We both know that that is the furthest thing from the truth." Edward was still sitting on the floor by the bed. He couldn't bring himself to move just yet. He had to think of a plan to get her back. "Bella says that she doesn't know the right way to love because she was never taught how. She said that there is someone out there that is able to love me the right way and that she can't hold me back from finding her. What the hell does that mean anyway. I don't know how to fix this and I need to fix this. I can't live without her, you know that Emmett."

"Edward you need to slow down. None of that makes any sense" Emmett had never heard Edward this upset. He knew that he would have to get Edward to calm down. Edward had a tendency to overreact and Emmett was sure that was all that was happening now. Everyone was aware that Bella and Edward were made for each other. He knew that he was going to have to take it slow and pull the info out of Edward a little at a time. "Now tell me why do you think that Bella feels that way? There has to be something she said to explain why she was leaving?"

Edward ran his fingers thru his hair and tugged hard. "Lately our work schedules have not been matching up. We haven't been able to spend a whole lot of time together. I know that it's hard on her because it's hard on me too. But we knew it was going to be like this for awhile, we talked about it. Then she was saying that she doesn't know who she is anymore. She kept saying that she isn't her own person or some shit like that. Bella even went as far as to say that she didn't earn her own PhD. She said that everything she has or has done is because of me."

"Where is Bella now Edward?" Emmett could not understand what was going on, but he knew that they would find a way to fix it.

"She said that she was going down to Forks to see Charlie." Edward was aware that Emmett was babying him, but he couldn't care less at the moment. He needed Emmett to tell him that everything was going to be okay.

"See Edward don't worry, she just went down there to calm down. I'm sure that once she's talked to Charlie she will be back. Let me tell you little brother that the sex you are going to get from her when she realized how stupid she acted is going to be so worth it."

"Emmett you don't understand she is leaving, she said that her plane leaves tomorrow morning for New York. That's why I called you, instead of Alice. You have to be there when her plane lands. Bella is confused and she is going to need someone to talk too. Can you do that for me please? I know that you love her as much if not more then you love me, and I truly think she needs you. I have tried telling her that everyone loves her, but she needs to see proof of that not just hear it. And I think the only way to show her that is to be there for her. She needs to see that you love her for her and not because she is with me."

"Man, you know that I will always be there for both you and Bella. Find out when her plane lands and I'll be there. You should know that you don't even have to ask." Emmett knew that he would do anything for that little girl.

This got Edward up off the floor, he raced into the living room and booted up Bella's computer and found her flight information and relayed the information to Emmett. "Emmett you have no idea how much this means to me. I would go there myself, but I have work and I can't just leave with no notice even if I wanted to. I am going to ask Dr Denali if I can take some time off. I figure if I can't get the time off I can try to trade some shift to maybe get 3 or 4 days off in a row, then I'll fly out. It's going to be hard, but Bella is my priority. I have a scheduled month off but it's not for almost 6 months, and I'm really hoping I don't have to wait that long. I know for a fact that I will never be able to live away from Bella for that long."

"Edward you need to calm down, everything is going to work out. You just have to have a little faith."

"Emmett I have to run, I have to be at the hospital in a half hour. I start a 48 hour shift I'll call you whenever I get a break. Please keep me in the loop, when you know anything call and leave a message."

Emmett sat there and contemplated his choices. He knew that he was going to need help if he was going to get Bella back with Edward and he knew the perfect little pixie to help. He also knew that Edward was going to need someone there with him just as much as Bella. He quickly pulled his phone back out and dialed his baby sister. Before she was even able to say a word Emmett jumped right in.

"Alice we have a problem. Baby Bells has flown the coop. Edward said she feels like her love is crap or something like that. She is going to be here in New York by tomorrow night, I am all over that shit. You need to get your ass out to Seattle to be with Edward. He's just started a 48 shift and you should be there when he gets off work. Bella has gotten it into her head that she's not good enough for our Eddie boy and we all know that is just bull, if anything its the other way around. But it is now my mission to make her see the error of her ways. Your mission if you care to except is to keep our Eddie sane. Are you up for the challenge pixie? This is the biggest mission of our lives." Emmett could practically hear the wheels in Alice's head turning. He knew that he had made the right choice by calling her.

"Emmett first of all your an ass. Do you really have to ask me that? I will do anything to keep Bella and Edward together, you forget I was the one to get them together in the first place. You know it has always been my goal to make Bella my official sister. I knew they were made for each other before they even meet. I'll make sure that I'm at their house by the time he get done his shift." Alice was bouncing around thinking of the best plan of attack. "Now Em make sure that you are nice and loving to Bella. There has got to be something major going on behind all this. It is your mission to get the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth out of our little Bella. That girl loves Edward with her whole heart and without him she is not going to be pretty. I will call you later with more details. I love you Emmy Bear and don't worry everything is going to work out great. I can see it."

After she had gone running from the house Bella drove out of Seattle to the small town where she grew up. As she drove down the familiar streets Bella could not drive more then a few feet without passing somewhere that brought memories back of something that her and Edward had done there. She passed by the police station and saw that her dad's police cruise was not there, she was hoping that luck was with her and he was home today. Pulling into the driveway she was glad that Charlie was there.

Running up the stairs she took the key out of it's hiding spot and let herself in. "Dad where are you?" Bella ran into the living room tripping on the rug and falling to the floor.

"Damn Bells when are you going to grow out of your clumsy stage? All I can say is that it's a good thing that Edward is a doctor and can fix you up when you fall. He's going to save you a bundle in hospital bills." Charlie reached out his hand to help Bella off the floor when he noticed that she was crying quietly. "Hey kiddo, what's wrong." Charlie crouched down next to Bella and lifted her up by the arms. He walked her over to the couch and sat down next to her. "Come on Bells I can't help you if you don't tell me whats wrong."

Bella looked up at her dad and allowed it all to flow out. "I left Edward, dad and I'm moving to New York tomorrow."

"What did he do? I swear I will kill him." Charlie steamed jumping up from the couch and grabbing his gun off the hook by the door. "Where is he Bella? No one hurts my little girl and gets away with it."

"Dad calm down Edward didn't do anything to me. I just couldn't live a lie anymore. I had to let Edward go so he can find someone that will be able to love him better then I can. He deserves someone better dad, it just took me this long to be able to do the right thing." Bella looked at Charlie waiting for him to calm down.

"What the hell are you talking about Bells? That is just crazy talk and you know it. What is really going on?" Charlie sighed and sat back down in his favorite recliner. "I know we don't talk much but you know that you can talk to me about anything right?"

"Look I just feel like I am not myself anymore. Everything that I have done I did it with Edward. Everything that I own Edward or Alice has bought for me. Edward has taken care of me for more years then I care to admit and that is not me. I have always been the one to take care of everyone, it's not right that he is always taking care of me. Someone close to Edward finally had the guts to tell it to me as it is and it finally woke me up. I just need to get my life back. I Love Edward and I always will, but he deserves more than I can give him."

"Bells, I hate to be the one to tell you this but true love is all about giving and taking. You and Edward have that. I have never seen a love as strong as yours. Edward may take care of everything financially but you take care of everything that really matters. That boy has made you the center of his universe and I know that he is yours. Why you would think that that isn't enough is beyond me."

"I didn't come down here to get a lecture I just wanted to come down here and spend a little time with you before I leave. I know I'm doing the right thing and that is all that matters. Nothing that anyone says is going to change my mind."

"Alright kiddo, you know that I will support you no matter what you chose, but please don't make the same mistakes that I have made. Do us both a favor and learn from my mistakes." In a rare show of affection Charlie pulled Bella into his arms in a warm embrace. "I allowed my love for your mother to hurt not only myself but you as well and I want you to know that I was wrong all those years ago. I am going to have to live with that the rest of my life. You may have the best of intentions but the end results might just ruin both your lives." He place a small kiss on her forehead before pulling away.

Just as fast as Charlie's emotional speech and show of affection started it was over. "Now if this is what you really want I will be there for you. What needs to be done to get you ready for your big move? Do you have everything packed up yet?"

Bella had to laugh at how fast Charlie's moods had changed. "I still have a lot to do actually. I need to pack up everything and get it to the shipping company before my flight tomorrow."

"Well I just so happen to be off today and tomorrow so how about I come back to Seattle with you and we can get everything done together. I'll even drive you to the airport in the morning and see you off. Then I'll drop off the boxes to the shipping company."

Bella pulled Charlie in for another quick hug. "Thanks Dad I knew I could count on you." With that said Bella and Charlie were on their way back to Seattle where Bella was going to say her final goodbye to her life with Edward.

Charlie helped her pack all her belongings and they went to bed. The next day Bella said nothing and Charlie did not push the issue. He drove her to the Airport where he watched her get on the plane and make the worst mistake of her life He just hoped that Edward would be able to change her mind. He knew Edward and was sure that he already had a plan to win her back.

Edward made it to the hospital just as rounds had started. He was able to slip in the back without anyone noticing he was late. After rounds Edward quickly checked his assignment for his shift, he was relieved to find that he had been appointed to the ER. The ER was a great place when you needed sometime to think, for it would be extremely busy one minute and then dead the next. He had to come up with a plan to win Bella back, but first he needed to see Dr. Denali so he could get some time off.

Of course nothing ever worked out the way that Edward needed it to. An hour after his shift started a drunk driver hit a group of children that were walking to the park. Thankfully no one was majorly hurt, but he was the only pediatric surgeon on staff that day so for the next 16 hours he had back to back surgeries.

After his last surgery he ran up to Dr. Denali's office to try and talk to her about getting some time off. He was exhausted and starving but was feeling none of it, he was determined to talk to Dr Denali. When he reached her office Edward poked his head in and found her lounging on her couch reading a medical journal. "Dr. Denali is it possible for me to speak with you for a moment?"

A huge smile spread on Tanya's face. "Edward how many times have I told you to call me Tanya when we are alone? Please come on in and have a seat. I heard about the great job you did today with the children, I am really proud of you. You know you really should be sleeping, but I guess I can't be mad at you for coming to see me. Now what is it that I can do for you this today?"

Taken a little aback by Tanya's actions he carefully sat himself on the far side of the couch from where she was sitting. "Well Tanya I need your help. You see I have to go away for a week or so and I was hoping that you would be able to help me get the time off. I know that it is sudden and will take a lot of juggling on your part but it is really important. I really need to go out of town for awhile, it is a life and death situation. When I come back I will do whatever it takes to make up for the time I missed."

Tanya sat up and pulled herself up on her knees leaning in towards Edward and placed her hand on his forearm. "Oh, Edward whats wrong? Are your parents and siblings alright, I know I have only meet your parents a couple times thru work, but they are such lovely people and I can't stand the thought of anything being wrong with them. You know I will do anything I can to help you, you are honestly one of the best residents we have here, I'm sure we can work something out for you." She said in a overly sweet tone, while gently rubbing Edward's arm.

Edward let out the breath that he didn't realize he had been holding. "Thank you Tanya, you have no idea what a relief it is for me to hear you say that. But my Family are all fine. I actually need the time off to go to New York for Bella. You see we haven't been able to spend anytime together lately and I think she has the idea in her head that it is by my choice. I need to go after her to let her know that she will always be the most important thing in my life."

At the mention of Bella's name Tanya pulled her arm off of Edward and sat up straight. Tanya glared at Edward while he continued to talk. "You see Bella has taken a position at her companies New York branch because she has this crazy notion that she is not good enough for me and I have to go there and convince her that I Love her and to come back home."

"Edward as sad as I am to hear about you and Bella I can not allow you to take the time off." Tanya said in a mock sympathetic voice. Never in a million years did she think her plan would work so fast. All she had to do now was give Edward a little time to grieve for the lose of Bella. While the whole time she planned to be the shoulder that he cried on, and it would take no time at all for him to realize that she was all he needed. "That is simply a crazy thing that you want to do. And I will not allow it."

Jumping up for the couch Edward started pacing the office. "But Tanya you just said that you would do anything to help me. I don't understand why I can't take the time off?"

"Look when you first asked for time off I thought it was a family emergency. For that I was willing to change everyone schedule around to accommodate you. But I can not and will not allow you to put your residency at risk just to go after a girl." Edward started to say something but Tanya stopped him with a flick of her hand. "No don't say anything, you need to hear this."

"Really if Bella went to such drastic measures to be away from you maybe you should just let her go. Now Edward I realize that you have been with her for a long time but obviously her feeling for you must have changed. I know that this is going to be hard on you but if she was able to just walk away from you after all the years that you two have spent together then maybe she was right and you can do better than her. You deserve someone that can understand your needs and be there for you. If she truly loved you she would stand by you no matter what."

Standing in front of Tanya, Edward stood there pinching the bridge of his nose trying to compose himself before he continued. "Tanya you don't understand Bella is my life, without her none of this means anything to me. I can understand why you may see things that way but they are the furthest thing from the truth. Bella loves me I am confident of that. Something serious must have happened to make her think these thing and I have to get to the bottom of it. I know that it will only take me a couple of days a week at the most to fix this. You have to give me the time off to do this."

"I'm sorry Edward but there is nothing that I can do. Why don't you go get something to eat and then sleep while you can, you still have 24 hours of your shift left. That is not a request it is an order. Just think about things for a couple of days, give yourself and Bella time. I am sure that everything will work out the way that it should." With that Tanya walked over to her office door and opened it ushering Edward out. "And remember you do have your time off in a few months, if you still feel the same way then you can go after her then. But I have a strong feeling that Bella has done the right thing for both of you here. I really believe that given time you will realize who the perfect person is for you."

Edward walked out of Tanya's office without saying another word. He could not understand where her attitude was coming from. He always thought that he had a good relationship with Tanya. He could not wrap his head around why she wasn't willing to help him. Maybe Tanya had a point about one thing , maybe he would be able to think better after he ate and slept. With that thought in mind he ran down to the cafeteria and grabbed a sandwich. Once he finished he found a empty on-call room and crash and dreamed about his future with Bella.

The only feeling that Bella felt was numb. While she was flying to New York her mind was on Edward and how much she was going to miss him. Once she landed she walked down to baggage claim and could not believe Emmett was standing there waiting for her. Not caring to question his motives she ran into his arms and broke down. Emmett crushed Bella in a bear hug and pulled her over to the chairs by the windows.

After letting Bella cry for a few minutes Emmett wanted to get her somewhere private so he could find out what was going on."Bella, Bella, Bella what on earth is going thru this beautiful head of yours? Lets stop the waterworks for now and blow this place. We will be needing some privacy for what I have planned. You stay right here while I grab your luggage then well talk in the jeep."

With that Emmett jumped up and left Bella a minute later he came back carrying her luggage in his hand. He pulled Bella up and rushed her to his waiting jeep. After they bother were safely buckled in and on the road Emmett felt he could finally talk to Bella. "Now spill. And don't try to give me the same bullshit that you told Edward. I know that something else is going on and I will get it out of you one way or the other. So why don't you save us both a lot of trouble and just come out and tell me the truth."

"Emmett can we please just go to my apartment first, I really need a hot shower and something to eat first. Then I promise I will tell you everything." Bella looked at Emmett with her best puppy dog face. She knew that He could never say no to that face. Emmett blew out a rush of air and Bella knew she had won, she quickly gave him the address to her apartment.

Once at the office complex Bella got the keys from the security guard and Emmett followed her up to the penthouse apartment. He sat himself down in front of her flatscreen tv and quickly called for some Chinese takeout, he knew this was going to take a while and they needed to eat. Emmett waited patiently while Bella grabbed somethings out of her suitcase and took a shower. But they second that she emerged from the Bathroom he pounced. "All right You have stalled long enough now tell your big brother what is bothering you."

"Emmett I have always known that Edward was too good for me. You guys have the perfect family life. Your parents care about you more then anything. You were always put first, you were shown what love really is. You can trace your family back for generations. I have nothing to bring into this relationship. I mean Look at me I have never been worthy of love. My own parents couldn't love me how on earth could someone like Edward love me. I mean look at him he has it all he has the looks, he's brilliant, he is one of the most caring people I have ever meet, and he's loaded." Bella smacked Emmett hard in the chest. "And why the hell didn't you ever tell me just how much money you guys have. I always knew you were rich but I never imagined you all had that much money."

Emmett couldn't help but laugh. "We never told you because first of all we knew it didn't matter to you and secondly we knew that it would freak you out. For some crazy reason you think that because we have money it makes us better then you and that is the furthest thing from the truth, why should we have made those feeling worse for you? We knew that Edward had big plans to tell you before you guys got married."

"Well it would have been nice to know. Anyway that's beside the point. I am not good enough for Edward. Edward deserves someone who can understands what it means to be a doctor. I don't know what it takes to work those kind of grueling hours. I wouldn't have the first clue as how to help him thru the loss of a patient. He needs someone who is as beautiful as he is. I have never look right with Edward and everyone we have ever meet thinks that. His wife need to be able to be a great hostess who is comfortable around anyone." Bella took a deep breath and stared Emmett in the eyes. "Lets face it Em that's not me. As much as I love him I can not be enough for him."

Emmett took Bella's face in his big hands "Bells that is bullshit and you know it. I never for the life of me could of imagined you felt this way. I know that in the beginning you felt that way, but after all these years you have to know that your all Edward will ever need. It is ridiculous to think anything less. You are a beautiful, loving, brilliant women and I have never meet anyone with a heart as big as yours. Edward could never do any better then you. You my dear sister were made for my brother, I truly believe that. I have known you a long time and before you meet Edward there was something inside of you that was missing. That same thing was missing in Edward too. But the moment that you two meet that day on the beach it was like something clicked inside both of you and you were complete. It was the most beautiful site that I have ever witnessed. And if you tell Rosie I said that I will kill you. But serious Bells what made you leave him?"

With tears streaming down her face Bella realized that she owed it to Emmett to tell him the truth. "Dr. Tanya Denali called me a few weeks ago. She told me that Edward was distracted at work and it was effecting patients lives. She told me that I was holding him back, and that if I loved him I would leave. She told me that a doctor needed a strong partner and I am not strong. She just pointed out everything that I have deep down always known. I know that she is in love with him, and she is what he needs." With that Bella broke down and collapsed in Emmett's arms.

"Isabella when are you going to stop listening to others and start trusting your heart. You know that you and Edward belong together. You know that we all love you for who you are. You have been a part of this family since the say we meet you. I Love You little sis. Now you have a phone call to make."

With that Emmett dialed Alice's phone and passed the phone to Bella. He sat holding Bella while she poured her heart out to her best friend and sister. He knew it wasn't going to be easy, but eventually they were going to be able to make Bella see that she truly was meant for Edward. They talked for over an hour before Bella fell into an fitful sleep.

Emmett took the phone gently from Bella's fingers. "Alice the ball is now in your court you know what you have to do."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 I Should?

Edward was for once thankful that his shift had been obnoxiously busy. He knew that he would of never been able to make it thru the last 48 hours if they were slow. For the first time ever Edward was not looking forward to be going home. He had considered staying and watching a few surgeries thru the observation deck but there were only routine surgeries being performed and he really did need to get some sleep. He also wanted to called Emmett and find out how Bella was doing. Emmett had left a few voice mails but he had been too busy to call him back. Edward was also afraid that if he had called him back, he would of broken down and not been able to finish his shift. Jogging out to his Volvo he quickly jumped in and made the 10 mile drive to the house.

When Edward pulled into the driveway he noticed that there were lights on in the living room. At first it made his heart leap, maybe Bella was back, but he realized how stupid that was. He knew that she was not coming back on her own. Shaking his head he walked into the house, there standing in front of him with her arms open was Alice. He quickly dropped his keys and bag to the floor and ran into Alice's waiting arms. The tough exterior that he had kept in place for the last 48 hours finally broke and Edward sank to the floor sobbing.

Alice sat on the floor with Edward while he cried. He raked her fingers thru his hair and rubbed small circles into his back. After several minutes Edward calmed down and looked up into his twin sisters eyes, which were the only thing that the two had in common. "Alice what are you doing here?"

"Not even a pack of wolves would be able to keep me away. After Emmett called and told me what was happening I knew that you would need me here, and I know that you would never ask for help. And why the hell didn't you call me first?" Alice said slapping Edward across the back of his head. "Come on lets move out of the entryway and go into the kitchen, I cooked spaghetti, I know you have to be hungry."

After they ate in silence Edward finally started opening up. "Alice I just don't know what caused all this. Sure we haven't been able to do much together lately, our hours have been completely opposite. I just don't know what I could of done to make her doubt me so much. We talked a lot about what it was going to mean to us if I picked Pediatric Surgery as my specialty. We discussed at length how it was going to involve a lot more hours then just a general Surgery specialty, but she assured me that we would make it work. Bella was the one to convince me that we would be alright when I had doubts about being apart so much. She said that she would stand by me thru anything. How can she do this? I know deep down that this, us being apart, is not what she wants. So why Alice, why is she doing this? I feel like there is this huge hole in my chest that only Bella can fill." Edward grabbed Alice's hand needing some form of human contact. "Do you think it's because I haven't asked her to marry me yet?"

"No Edward it has nothing to do with that. But why haven't you at least asked her to marry you yet?" Alice asked in a mock furious expression that even under these circumstances made Edward laugh.

Edward sat and collected himself before he answered Alice. Running his long fingers thru his hair he exhaled loudly. "I don't expect you or anyone to understand, but I needed to be my own man first. We have all this money at our disposal, Alice, and we did nothing to earn. That money has supported us thru college. I bought this house for us with that money. I have never had to work for anything in my life, and if I so chose I never will have too. And I know that Bella doesn't care about the money, she never has. Until this week she didn't even have the slightest idea what our trust funds were worth. But I felt like I needed to be able to support us without using my trust fund."

Edward quickly jumps up from the table and runs into the den. "What the fuck Edward? Where are you going?" Alice screams to his retreating back. A few seconds later Edward returns and drops a bag into Alice's lap.

"Open the bag Alice." Edward slumps back into the chair he so recently vacated.

Alice carefully reaches into the bag and pulls out a elegant wood box. She quickly flips open the box and stares down at the most beautiful ring she has ever seen. She gently plucked the ring out of the black velvet holder. The antique platinum ring held a 2.5ctw cushion cut diamond on the band it had elegant pave round diamonds swirling abound the band in a filigree design set with 18k yellow gold accents. "Oh Edward it's breathtaking Bella is just going to love it. Wait how long have you had this?"

"Well last year one of the nurses was talking about this little antique shop that she had gone to over the weekend. She was describing all the beautiful old furniture that they had, and she mentioned that they had a rare 16th century desk. So I headed down on my next day off thinking that it would make a great gift for Dad. When I got there I obviously bought the desk as it is sitting in Dad's study as we speak. So while I was waiting for them to prepare it I noticed a jewelry counter. Thinking that maybe I could find some Christmas gifts for you girls also I went to take a look. When I looked into the case my eyes were drawn to the ring. As soon as I looked at it I knew it was the one I wanted to propose to Bella with. So when the women came back into the storeroom I immediately asked to see it. When she placed it in my hand I swear to God, I felt a jolt. Looking into that stone I was able to see Bella and my future." He quickly looked away, he wasn't sure if he could handle seeing disappointment in Alice's eyes

"But I didn't but the ring that day. I just couldn't bring myself to buy it with my trust fund. I wanted this ring to be the first thing that I bought with the money I earned. For the past year I have not spent a penny of my trust fund. We have lived off of my salary alone this year. It took me a whole year to save to buy it. In a strange way that ring your holding has so much more meaning to me then anything else I own including this house." Edward was staring at his hands while he spoke. He was a little worried by the fact that Alice had not interrupted him yet. "Alice do you think I'm crazy for waiting? Am I going to be able to get Bella to ever take me back? Will Bella forgive me for not asking her to be my wife sooner? Alice will you please say something I can't handle the silence anymore."

"Edward look at me." Alice pleaded with her brother to look at her. When Edward finally raised his gaze he first noticed the tears that were slowing flowing down her face. "Bella is going to love this ring even more after you tell her the story behind it. I realize that you had see this now, but you have to know that everything is going to work out fine. You and Bella are made for each other and you will get thru this."

Grabbing her brothers hand she pulled him up and lead him into the living room where they could be more comfortable before she revealed everything to him. "I spoke to Bella yesterday and she told me the whole story. Edward I need you to stay calm and let me explain everything to you." She paused for a moment before continuing. "Edward Tanya is the reason that Bella left you. She called Bella a couple weeks ago and pretty much told her a bunch of bullshit about her holding you back. Tanya explained to Bella that your head was clouded by her and you were not giving 100% to your patients. She played on every insecurity that Bella has ever had. I don't know how she was able to figure out Bella's every weakness but she did and it destroyed her."

Edward could take it anymore he could not wrap his head around what Alice was telling him. "Alice I can't believe this. Why would Dr. Denali do that? But do you know what is worse how could Bella believe it? Does the last 10 years mean nothing? Alice it just doesn't make sense." Edward realized that he was babbling but he couldn't help it. He was working on no sleep and things just weren't adding up. "Alice I love you, but I can't deal with this right now. I need to go crash, I have been up pretty much for 60 hours straight. I will see you in a few hours and we can talk more then." He didn't wait for Alice to answer he walked straight to the bedroom and locked him self in.

Alice sat in silence not sure what to do with herself. She called Emmett and updated him on what had just happened. They were both at a lose.

When Emmett got off the phone with Alice he decided that he was going to go for a run. He wrote a quick note to Bella seeing as she was still out cold from the day before. He ran home and found Rosalie in the garage working on the car that they never seemed to use. He sneaked up behind her and pressed her body against the car. "Rosie I think Bella is in need of some tough love and we all know that you are the only one that can accomplish that."

Rosalie whipped around in his arms and kissed him hard. "Well I was waiting until you Cullens came to your senses and realized that Bella does not need to be handled with kid gloves right now. Why don't you stay here and let me have a little girl time with our sister. I'll call you later and let you know when it's safe to come back over." With that Rosalie stalked out of the garage to get changed and collect the supplies that she would be needing. 45 minutes later she was letting herself into Bella's new apartment.

"Bella its time to get your ass out of that bed and stop hiding from your problem." Opening the bedroom door she walked up to the bed and ripped the covers right off of Bella. "I said get up and get in the shower. You have 30 minutes before I come back in here." She dumped Bella's suitcase open on the bed ignoring the protests coming from Bella as she reluctantly got out of bed. She laid out the outfit she wanted Bella to wear and left the room.

Bella could not believe that Rosalie was her and that she seemed pissed. Out of everyone she was sure that Rosalie was going to be the only one that agreed with her decision. Now she was really confused and even a little scared, you did not mess with Rosalie. Walking into the bedroom she was not at all surprised to see an outfit laid out for her. By no means was Rosalie as bad as Alice when it came to fashion but she came in a close second. Bella quickly got dressed and brushed out her hair before she went into the other room to face her fate.

Walking into the kitchen Bella found Rosalie sitting at the breakfast bar drinking coffee. She silently grabbed a cup for herself and waited for her interrogation to begin. "Okay what is this shit I hear you left Edward because of some two bit slut questioned you suitability?" Well at least Bella could take comfort in the fact that somethings never changed Rosalie was still a bitch.

"Look out of everyone I was convinced that you would be on my side. You have never agreed with Edward and my relationship. I have never looked right with Edward and you were one of the first people to tell me that. We all know that I do not hold a candle to women like Tanya and yourself. And I hate to tell you but Tanya is by no means a two bit slut as you so elegantly put it. She is a brilliant well respected doctor that just so happens looks like a freaking model. I don't expect you to be able to sympathize with me, you can not even begin to know what it feels like to be just average. So don't give me any of your shit right now, because I am not in the mood." Bella couldn't help but feel just a little bit proud that she was able to speak her mind so openly.

"Bravo Bella, I'm glad that you are finally able to say what you feel. It really is a shame you didn't do that to Tanya when you had the chance. Can't you see past all your insecurities to realize that Tanya only wants Edward for herself and she would do anything to get him. Women like Tanya see something they want and they will stop at nothing to get it. Bella sometimes you are just too trusting for your own good. Edward was right about one thing you do not see yourself very clearly. Bella you are a beautiful successful women and any man would be lucky to have you. Tanya or anyone else for that matter is not half the women that you are. For as long as we have known each other you have always put others first, and I am here to tell you that it is time to put yourself first. Tanya doesn't care about Edward and she could never love him like he deserves to be love. You are the only one that can do that. She just sees what he represents and I'm sure his looks and bank balance are all she really cares about. Think about it Bella who really cares about Edward? You did what you thought was best for Edward you put his needs above your own. Do you think Tanya would do that?"

In a rare act of affection Rosalie pulled Bella into a hug before she finished what she came here to say. She had to come up with the perfect words to make Bella realize that she was the only one that could love Edward for himself. "I owe you an apology Bella I was jealous of you all those years ago and said some thing that I did not really believe. But you have to understand that Edward was the first person that ever turned me down. Then when he feel in love with you I had to make you feel bad about yourself to make me feel better about the situation. I will forever be sorry that I didn't handle it better. I hope that you can forgive me for that."

It took Bella a while to shift through her thoughts. Never in a million years did she expect to hear those words come out Rosalie's mouth. For the first time in weeks she was starting to doubt that she was doing the right thing. "Rose I don't know what to say. I have made a huge mistake haven't I? I love Edward I really do and I just want what is best for him. I really believed that I was hurting his career and I couldn't do that to him. All these years I had always waiting for the day that Edward would see that I just wasn't good enough for him. I have always been afraid that Edward would leave me that I guess I rationalized in my head that it would hurt less if I left him first. Do you think that Edward will ever want me again?"

"If there is one thing I can guarantee about my brother in law it is that he loves you and wants to spend his life with you. It may take him awhile but he will forgive you for this. It was no coincidence that Emmett was at the airport to meet your flight. Edward called him to make sure you were alright a man that doesn't care wouldn't do that. You are just going to have to be patient and give him some time. He'll do the right thing he always does, and Bella you are the right thing. Now enough of this depressing talk we have a date at the spa to get to."

Bella and Rosalie spent the rest of the say being pampered and relaxing. It gave Bella a lot of time to think about everything that has happened in her life. She wanted to call Edward and beg him to forgive her but she decided to follow Rosalie's advice and let him have some time.

Edward awoke later that day in a daze. Everything that Alice told him today started to make perfect sense. He couldn't believe how stupid he had been, for months Tanya had been asking questions about Bella and his relationship. At the time he thought that Tanya was just making conversation, but now he realized that she had been looking for things that she could use against Bella. Tanya would tell him personal things about herself and her love life at the time he thought she just needed a guy to vent too. But after everything he knew that Tanya had been coming on to him the whole time. She was always extra friendly to him and would use any excuse to touch him.

Thinking about Bella cause the hole in his chest to open up. He couldn't believe that he had been so stupid as to give Tanya all the ammunition she needed to make Bella suffer. He never would of imagined that a few innocent, well on his part anyway, conversations could of caused Bella so much suffering. Edward knew that he was going to have a lot of explaining and groveling to do to Bella. He just hoped that she would be able to find it in her heart to forgive him.

Edward did come to the conclusion that Tanya had told Bella one truth and that his career was in fact suffering. Over the past year he had never worked with any attending other then Tanya. She always coordinated his shifts around his schedule, it hadn't accrued to him until now but that was highly unusual. To get the full benefit out of your residency you were encouraged to work with different attendings so you could pick up different styles of surgery. Tanya was holding him back and he was going to put a stop to that right now.

When Edward had finished his internship he had been offered a residency position at New York Presbyterian Morgan Stanley Children's Hospital it was a part of Columbia University Medical Center and one of the best Children's Hospital in the country. At the time he had turned it down the offer because he had wanted to move back to Washington with Bella. But now that Bella was in New York there was nothing keeping him there. A residency wasn't like a normal job where you could just change it around as you saw fit your needs. For all intent and purposes you were still learning and moving to another location in the middle of the year was unheard of. Edward knew that if he wanted to have a shot at getting in at Morgan Stanley he was going to need a lot of strings pulled. He also knew that he was just lucky enough that his father was a world famous surgeon that had a lot of friends in very high places. Edward had never used his name or his father's influence before but desperate times called for desperate measures.

With his mind made up it was time to set the ball in motion. Walking into the living room Edward found Alice laying on the floor working on some of her sketches. "Alice I'm sorry about earlier. I hope that you know that I didn't mean to doubt you it was all just to much to handle at the time." He sat down on the floor next to her before continuing. "Alice I am going to need your help there is a lot to do if I am going to win Bella back. The first thing I have to do is call Dad and the chief of surgery at work. While I do that could you maybe make a few calls and find a good realtor in New York? I am in the market for a house outside the city that will accommodate a growing family."

Edward took his time explaining to Alice everything that he had agonized over since he woke up. After listening to Edward's plan to win Bella back Alice was relieved that their relationship was going to be just fine in the end. Edward had a temper and she had been afraid that he wouldn't of been able to see that Bella had done what she thought was the right thing. The next few days were going to be filled with obstacles for Edward to overcome but she loved seeing the determination in his eyes.

Carlisle was beside himself with grief as he listened to Edward describe what was going on in his life. On the occasions that Edward had mentioned work he had always found it a little peculiar that he spent so much time working with Dr. Denali, but had thought nothing of it. Now he realized that she had been using her position as his supervisor in an attempt to get become closer to him. He was going to do everything in his power to make sure that Edward was able to move his residency to a better program. He just so happened to of gone to medical school with the chief of staff at Morgan Stanley and they were good friends. He told Edward not worry about anything that they would get it all worked out together,

Back in New York Bella was miserable. Emmett and Rosalie had convinced her that she shouldn't call Edward right now. They explained that Edward was working a lot of extra hours because a few of the doctors were out for various reasons, and he didn't need any added pressure right now. Bella respected there wishes but she did send him a text message saying that she was thinking about him. Over the next three weeks Bella and Edward had sent a series of text messages to one another. It wasn't enough but Bella was glad he hadn't decided to completely shut her out of his life.

Alice and Bella had only spoken twice since the night she confessed everything to her. Bella was afraid that she has lost her best friend forever. She knew that Alice was going to take it hard, but she had hoped that they would be able to work thru it. That's why Bella was shocked when she was woken from a deep sleep early one Saturday morning by loud banging on her door. Looking at her clock she realized that it was only 4:30am in the morning. She quickly opened her door and was shocked to find Rosalie and Alice standing there. Before she could utter one word they were dragged her into the apartment where they quickly shoved her into the bathroom.

"Now Bella you are going to do everything that we say no questions asked." Rosalie explained while starting the shower. In the mean time Alice was quickly undressing her and shoved her into the shower. "You have 15 minutes to shower, shave and wash your hair. When you get out just put your robe one and come into your room we will be waiting for you."

With that Alice and Rosalie left the bathroom and a very confused Bella. Afraid of what they would do to her if she didn't follow there instructions Bella quickly did as she was told. She walked into her bedroom to find her dresser over in makeup and hair products. She was pushed down into one of the kitchen chairs that had been dragged in. Any time she had tried to ask a question she was quickly silenced and told that she would find out all in due time.

They tortured her for over an hour fixing her hair and makeup. Once they were satisfied that Bella looked her best the handed her a sexy emerald green and black lace barely there bra and panty set. Bella was surprised that Alice had trusted her to put those on herself but she didn't mention it, not wanting to upset the little pixie. Next Rosalie held out the most beautiful emerald green silk and lace dress Bella had ever seen. It looked vintage 1950's with a tight fitted bodice and balloon skirt. Alice slipped a delicate pair of low heeled sandals on her feet. Bella couldn't help herself she twirled around in front of the mirror loving the feel the dress made against her legs.

Rosalie could not keep the smile off her face as they ushered Bella out of the apartment and into the car. The girls drove 20 minutes out of the city before they came up to a old stone Victorian house. The house had everything that Bella had always envisioned her dream home to look like. It had a wrap around front porch and beautiful pictured windows. She was pushed out of the car by the girls where Emmett and Jasper were standing by the steps to escort her inside. Bella was very confused and had no idea what was going on.

When she stepped inside the site before her took her breath away. There were hundreds mixed flower bouquets all over the room. She notice that Carlisle, Esme, Phil her Mom and Dad were all standing inside. But what really stop her heart was in the middle of all that was Edward. She couldn't stop herself from launching herself into his arms, it had been a month since she had seen or spoken to him and she just missed him so much. They embraced holding on to each other like their lives depended on it. Edward slowly pulled back just enough to tilt Bella's face up so they could look into each others eyes.

Bella had been dreaming of the moment that she would be able to see Edward again, but even the best dream could not compare to this moment. "Edward I am so so very sorry. I have had a lot of time to think and I should have had more faith in you. I should have had more faith in our relationship. I made up my mind about our future based on what someone else said. I didn't fight for you and I took away your right to fight for me. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make this up to you if you will allow me."

"Bella words can not express how good it feels to have you in my arms once again. I am just telling you right now that I am never letting you go. You are my whole life and this past month has been pure hell." Edward spoke so softly and with such love that Bella was unable to stop the tears from flowing down her face. "Baby, what happened was both of our faults, I was to blind to see what was going on and for that I am sorry."

With that said Edward lowered his mouth and captured Bella's lips in a kiss that conveyed all his love and devotion. After a few second he released Bella and slowly sank to one knee. "Bella this last month has shown me that I do not want to spend another moment without you in my life. I love you more then I am ever going to be able to say in mere words. I promise to find ways to show you how much you mean to me everyday for the rest of our lives. So now in front of all our family I am asking you to be my wife. Will you marry me?"

Bella lowered herself until she was also on her knees and wrapped her arms around Edward's neck. Bella had never imagined that it was possible to feel this much love for anyone as she did for Edward in that moment. She kiss his mouth lightly and whispered the only word that she could. "Yes." She rained kisses all over Edward's face and after each kiss spoke "Yes" again.

After what seemed like hours later Edward lifted himself and Bella off the ground where he slipped the ring on her finger where it would stay for all eternity. It was then that they finally seemed to remembered that their family was there. Everybody rushed over to the happy couple to congratulate them. They walked into the dining room where a table and chairs had been set up with a elegant brunch. Edward told Bella about his change in residency and everything that had happened since she left. Alice forced him to share the story of the ring and everyone just melted. Sure they had a lot to talk about, but in that moment nothing else mattered.

It was then that Bella realized where she would be for the rest of her life. She had come to realize that all her dreams had come true and she really was going to get her happily ever after.


End file.
